Seeley invited me to visit DC with him. He needed to go back and check on work, but mostly he was there to spend some time with his son. I'd watched him with my family, and he's a natural with kids. I was looking forward to finally meeting Parker, and spending some time with both of them. Honestly, I was nervous too. Things have been progressing at a comfortable pace with the both of us, but meeting his son was a big step. So was meeting his friends that he used to work with.

We took Parker to the park and zoo. He held my hand and told me his favorite stories about the animals at the zoo. Parker made me laugh so hard as he told me silly stories about his dad. Seeley half scoffed at us and half laughed along. We shared ice cream, and ended up having dinner at this diner that was Parker's favorite place for burgers.

The entire trip was amazing. There was no drama, or anything out of the ordinary. Seeley's son and friends were so nice to me, and I could see how much he enjoyed seeing them again. Sometimes I wonder if he would be happier living back there. I know he's working out arrangements so he can see Parker here more. I think I'm going to offer to try and help. It would be easier for Parker to visit if he didn't have to fly alone, and Harry has always said we could use the jet whenever we needed. If Seeley has to work on the day that Parker can travel, I could take the trip and meet Parker so we could fly back to see his dad once he was off work.

Being with Seeley always makes me happy. I've realized that being with his son does the same. I guess with having nieces and nephews now, and being the older sister to two awesome people that something maternal has woken up in me. I'm happiest when I'm surrounded by my boyfriend, family and friends.

The world isn't safe. I learned that when I was too young to really understand it. The world isn't safe, and it isn't fair. There is no true balance or justice. You can hope for mercy, but there is no guarantee you will be granted it. My niece was granted a second chance. She can bask in the sun, and she need air to survive. My sister, Faith, got her daughter back. My nephew was granted his greatest wish; his sister was returned to him.

My youngest sister, Grace, lost her husband not too long after having their first child. Jack is beautiful and perfect in every single way. The bond I felt with him was created before he took his first breath. The bonds I feel with my little sisters is stronger than anything I have ever experienced before. I was still trying to find my place in this complicated extended family. I wanted to be the big sister to them that I should have been able to be back when we were children. I wanted to celebrate their victories, and protect them from their losses.

I couldn't protect Grace from losing Alec. I couldn't predict that Seeley would lose a friend at the same time I lost a member of my family. All I could think about was how this wasn't fair. We got Alexia back, and now we were saying goodbye to Alec and Emily. Where is the balance here? Where is the mercy?

There was none.

I stuck close to my sisters and extended family as the news of what happened hit. I told Seeley I would go with him to say goodbye to Emily. All I could do was busy myself with trying to make sure my sisters remembered to slow down long enough to eat, or rest. Easier said than done. I understood of course. I found it hard to find my own appetite while arrangements were made. While the reality of the loss sunk in.

It broke my heart every time I looked at my nephew Jack and realized the little bundle of perfection would never know his father. It pained me to look at Dean and for a moment expect him to be Alec. This was all wrong. Life shouldn't be this hard, but then I knew it was. Life was hard and unfair, but it was beautiful too. It was so hard to see the beauty at times like this.

Then I caught sight of Alexia and Tyler talking close to where Jack was in his mother's arms and I realized the beauty was there. It was just surrounded in tragedy. I took the time to hug my sisters and to try comfort them in the only way I knew how; by simply being here.

[this post is open to anyone who wants to tag it, or it can stand alone.]

[backdated to the day after Gracie gives birth]

I'd been looking forward to the day that my nephew would arrive in the world. Things had a tendency to be kind of depressing or chaotic. There was so many things to grieve. So many people to miss. So many old grievances that never found resolution. I was looking forward to having something to celebrate. Nothing was worth celebrating more than a baby being born.

Gracie looked ready to pop at any time, so I wasn't too shocked when I got the call that she had given birth the day before. I didn't get all the details of how it happened. I figured I could ask all about it when I saw her. I definitely wanted to see her as soon as possible.

She was in the hospital so I asked Connor to give me a ride over. He was happy to do so since he wanted to stop in and check in on Grace and the baby too. He helped me load up the gift basket for Jack, and then we were on our way to the hospital. The ride was mostly in silence. Connor wasn't much of a talker, and I was too excited to make casual conversation.

Babies were a gift from God. They were proof that life is worth living. They were so precious and beautiful, and I was so relieved that my sister was okay and that she now had her little boy with her. It was so surreal to realize that both of my little sisters had kids now. Maybe that thing that Sarah was talking about with the biological clock wasn't so far off. I couldn't stop thinking about how wonderful it was to be blessed with children. I was very grateful to be an aunt. I wanted to spoil Jack rotten, and to continue getting to know Tyler.

I carried the basket into the hospital despite Connor trying to do it for me. It wasn't that heavy. We found the room with little problem, and I knocked gently hoping I wouldn't find anyone asleep. Smiling at my little sister I approached her as I carried the basket in with Connor right behind me. "Congratulations, Gracie. How are you feeling?"

[open to Grace]

1. I want to be a mom someday.
2. I think it's too early to think of kids with Seeley though.
3. He's a great dad already.
4. I've spent some time with my nephews Jack and Tyler and it makes me think of what it would be like to have kids of my own.
5. Sarah said it's my biological clock ticking?
6. One day when the time is right I think it could be something to consider.
7. The world needs more innocence to balance the ugliness.
8. Babies are so sweet.
9. Children are cute.
10. Teenagers are fun.

She is quiet as she watches how people react to the things that have happened lately. Her nephew's heart is broken, and there is nothing she can say or do to comfort him. There is no promise she can make that will suddenly take his pain away. One little sister is about to give birth, and it will be a cause for celebration. One little sister is nursing the same broken heart as her son is.

Serenity thinks she would know how to be the big sister. That she should be the one to have the right words to mend broken hearts. The right words to soothe excited nerves. The words that Lena would have had if she hadn't become so lost in the life that turned out all wrong for her.

Serenity doesn't have those words. Instead she tries to stay out of there way, but make her presence known should they want to see her. She tries to think of those words that won't come to her. The things that would have mended her broken heart when she was still stuck in the other dimension. The truth is, there are no words powerful enough to mend a broken heart. Not even time can truly make it go away.

All you can hope for is the scars to heal and slowly fade, and the chance to make sure the next time you don't walk away so wounded.

I would never have been kidnapped and taken to the other dimension. People say that you shouldn't want to change your past because then you'd change your present. I'm not sure they would say that if they grew up in a twisted fairy tale forced to relive the same day over and over again. The nightmares are still steadily interrupting my sleep. Nothing drives them away for more than a couple of days at a time. He's there, both in his human form, and as his natural wolf self. Those kind blue eyes that made me believe I was safe with him. Those dark eyes that made me understand I would never be safe as long as I was there.

It's hard to imagine what I would be like if that hadn't been my existence for most of my life. Would I not fear every little sound that catches me off guard? Would I not retreat to my room when the people I care about become tense and angry with each other? I'm supposed to be the big sister, and I hide rather than attempt to soothe my little sisters when they are upset. Maybe I would be stronger and more nurturing if I had lived a normal life instead of the one he picked out for me.

Sometimes I try to look past the scars that I know should be written on my body, and try and find some trace of the girl I would have been if I hadn't lived my life as a character in a nightmare. I never see her. All I see is me.

I wish I could see her.

our_issues Biggest problem in the relationship w/ sniperbooth

I'm the biggest problem in our relationship. Is it a relationship yet? It's something more than friendship. That much I'm certain of. I'm so new at this. Not just the relationship thing, but new at being in this world. The short version of the long story is that I spent most of my life in a hell dimension. My sisters' father put me there to punish our mother. I was forced to live the life of Little Red Riding Hood while their father played the role of hero and villain. He went from the handsome woodsman who tried to save the day, to the wolf who tortured and killed me over and over again.

Adjusting to this world is taking a lot of time. I'm finally getting to know my sisters, Grace and Faith. I never had a chance to know my mother. She died trying to save my sisters and me. Not that it makes her a saint. I know that she hurt my sisters a lot. I know that she tried to spare me that pain. Sometimes I wonder if they resent me because of that.

Seeley is the calm in the storms that brew around me. He is sympathetic and understanding to what I've been through. I'm pretty sure most men would run away from dealing with someone with so many issues, yet he's a real live hero in a non-fairytale. Which is fine. I'm sick of fairytales.

I was sitting in my room tracing my finger over the lettering on a business card. It's small and square, and I'd long since memorized what it said on the front. Things had calmed down considerably since the night my mother died protecting my sisters and me from my sister's father. How strong to actually know that I have sisters. They are so still virtual strangers to me, yet I want to change that sometime soon. I need to change that sometime soon.

I've been spending a lot of my time away from everyone else. Mostly because I've been trying to understand this world more. Harry gave me a bunch of cds and dvds to catch me up on pop culture. That is what he called it anyway. Sometimes I went out with Connor and Fred for a quick bite to eat, or a walk with Sarah to familiarize myself with the neighborhood. I needed to make an effort to familiarize myself with my sisters and their families.

Why was I being so much of a coward about that? I guess because I know they have a lot going on. I don't want to add to their stress. So, I sit here with this card, and traced the name that I memorized. I've thought about calling him a million times, but always found an excuse not too.

Now I was running out of excuses. I really wanted to see him again. Out of everyone I had met so far in this world, Seeley Booth was the most special. There was something unique about him that was so far removed from the world I came from, and the world I live in now.

With a sigh, I finally picked up the cell phone that Harry bought me, and dialed the number. Maybe I would get voice mail.

[Open to Seeley]